The making

Well, to be truthful, I am not making anything right now. I want to create art, but I am not putting in the hours and nor the effort to do so. How can I expect to make something of interest under these circumstances? I don't give myself any chances to accomplish meaningful work.

What I wanted to do yesterday, I didn't do it then. Thus it didn't get done today, and I have nothing to show. I read somewhere that one becomes what one does every day. In effect, I obtained what I did, void.

I need to change my state of mind, and I know that. I have to get back to work.

It is always the same thoughts that haunt me. I feel that what I do is useless and that it doesn't amount to anything. I want to sleep. I want to disappear.

I need to break out from this downward spiral of gloom and doom.

I want to find back my momentum, but I forgot how I got it in the first place: the fire, the thrill, the passion. How can I get this exciting and enthusiastic energy to empower me again? Where has it gone? I want it to engulph me and lead me forward. I feel empty and so vain.

I see the pencil in front of me on the table. Why don't I seize it and draw this mug, this plant? I need to lift myself back on the road to creation. I need to reach out. I need to learn. I need to share. I need to practice daily. Adversity is the way. I know it is, however, it may be hard to face it.

No one is interested in what I do. Who minds about something one doesn't know even exist yet. It's the way it is with all things.

Draw. Draw. Draw. Go one. Look forward and smile at yourself because all will be OK in the end. The gray clouds in the sky don't matter. They are passing. The sky is always blue. No matter what.